Tapping into Childhood Joy

I know I’m not alone in experiencing feelings of overwhelm and fear, especially during these first few weeks of the new year. And while I lean heavily on my community during tough times, lately I’ve noticed that I’m also tapping into what sparked joy for me as a child. 

For many years I’ve asked my parents what I was like as a child, hoping to fill in the blanks or ascertain their perception of me when I was younger and less aware of societal expectations. In recent months I am continually reminding myself, and remembering, that the answer to connecting with my inner child lies within. The more I let go of caring how others may perceive me, the more I let go of the stories I tell myself, the more I live in the present, the more my inner child begins to shine through, and the more I feel confident and authentically myself. Without even realizing it, I have found myself tapping into childhood joys and thus introducing more play into, or rather more play BACK into, my life. 

In recent months my actions have continually lined up with what brought me such joy as a child. I’ve bought a pair of soccer cleats, attended an improv class, dusted off my Nintendo DS, and spent more time crafting- making collages, writing poetry, and rereading books that once moved me. And while this string of events wasn’t intentional, I have found that each of these activities have helped ground me more in the present moment.

As a child, I was often in tune with my intuition, even though I didn’t have the language for it at the time. I was less concerned about others' opinions and had an innate desire to do what I wanted, rather than what others told me to do. Over time that self-reassurance faded a bit, but a flicker has always remained.

I have numerous hobbies that I’ve picked up in the past decade, which also help me feel a sense of flow, but there has been something so playful in returning to my forgotten childhood joys. This lesson has been a reminder that in life, there are no rules. Obviously, there are some rules, and everyone has different hurdles and barriers standing in their way, but let me elaborate. 

Earlier this week I went for a walk in a park near my house. I visit this park often, but this time, perhaps because I’ve been feeling quite free and in alignment with my inner child, I invited a sense of play. I found myself looking at the icicle formations with curiosity, swinging to my heart’s content, and unapologetically laying on a grassy hill and soaking in the sunset. It wasn’t until I was walking back home that I realized how childlike my walk to the park had been.

Being childlike is often associated with a negative connotation, but to me, that feels a bit backward. Children know how to be in the present moment, they can decipher their curiosities and lead their lives with a sense of wonder. 

Reintroducing my childhood hobbies has allowed me to tap back into little Marie, a practice that offers a sense of comfort and lightness during uncertain times. I hope if you choose to do the same, you find what it is you’re searching for.